Chapter Eight: Raymond has a Bath

When Himself appeared outside the greenhouse, his face was red and swollen with rage. Smudge and Raymond only had a few precious seconds to decide how they were going to avoid being torn limb from limb by the salivating dog.

‘We have the advantage,’ said Raymond.
‘How?’ said Smudge.
‘There are two of us and only one of him.’
‘But he’s much bigger,’ whimpered Smudge.
‘Brains are better than brawn,’ said Raymond.

As the door slid open, Himself released the dog who hurtled into the greenhouse, like a bullet from a gun. Smudge was crouched at the far end of the small space, trying to be invisible. Raymond had climbed up onto a low shelf crammed with plastic pots containing tiny green shoots.

‘Dodge!’ he yelled, when the dog’s jaws were inches from Smudge’s face.

This was a new word to Raymond and Smudge. They had heard it when the children were playing games at the party. The daddy threw a ball and shouted, ‘Dodge!’ and they had to jump out of the way.

‘Dodge!’ he screamed again, and Smudge threw himself sideways, coming within a whisker of getting mauled. The dog was running too fast to stop and he slammed into the glass wall with a loud crunch. That bought the pals some time. Smudge sprang for the door where Himself was waiting with a heavy spade. The squirrel hurled his body against the man’s chest, knocking him to the ground as Raymond scurried out under his legs. It was all over so quickly and the dog simply lay down licking his bruised snout. The friends did not wait to see what Himself intended to do with the spade. Smudge scampered high into a tree and Raymond ran straight towards the house.

Raymond knew that the dog would soon recover and sniff him out so he clambered up onto a sill and slipped in through an open window. It was quiet inside. Raymond’s heart was pounding as he crept across a bedroom carpet and out through another door.

As he slid along a slippery floor he got a shock. Coming towards him down the hallway was another rat! The rat had clearly spotted him and was watching him intently. Raymond stopped in his tracks; the other rat stopped too. Raymond tilted his head to one side; the other rat did the same.
He’s copying me, thought Raymond. Who does this guy think he is?
He was not pleased. This was his patch.
The rats slowly crawled towards each other, neither one averting his gaze.
If he doesn’t back off, I’ll have to fight him, thought Raymond, but I’m exhausted.
Still they kept coming, closer and closer, until their twitching noses were almost touching. It was a stand-off. Raymond’s whiskers felt the air in front of him. They touched something cold: cold and hard, like glass.

Suddenly a door banged somewhere behind him and Raymond dashed into the nearest room. When he looked back out along the hall, the other rat had mysteriously disappeared.  Raymond’s problems were not over yet. Against the wall on the far side of the room stood several creatures he could not name: one was grey with a very long, snake-like nose; another was spotted yellow with an equally long neck and in a tree were three cheeky looking brown animals with long dangly arms.

A tree? thought Raymond. Indoors? He took a closer look and laughed. The creatures were not moving; they were not real. The room was filled with toys, cushions and little coloured pieces of hard plastic. It hurt Raymond’s feet to walk on them. So he looked for somewhere to hide and rest. Inside a little red tent he found exactly what he needed: a pile of soft toys. He chose a brown teddy bear with a furry tummy and curled up for a snooze.

It was early morning when he woke.  Someone was shouting: ‘Teddy! Teddy!’
They must know I’m in here on the teddy bear, thought Raymond, filled with fear. They’re coming to get me!
He could hear loud voices in the hallway. Raymond crept to the doorway and saw someone plonking down a big heavy suitcase. House guests, home for the holidays. Missus Daisy was crying and hugging and dabbing her eyes with a hanky.

‘Come and see the play room,’ she said, leading two small blonde boys by the hand.

Raymond did not wait around to meet the visitors. He made a dash for yet another room. How many rooms were there? He was walking on cool tiles. Raymond explored a wet space. A big lump of cheese was sitting on a dish in the corner. If there was anything Raymond loved to eat, it was cheese. He didn’t recognise the brand. It was paler than cheddar with a red label: Imperial Leather.

‘Posh!’ said Raymond, taking a huge bite. He swallowed it without chewing. It left a funny taste on his tongue so he slurped water from a shallow puddle and was surprised when a big bubble burst out of his mouth, floated up into the air and popped.  Cool! he thought.

Raymond clambered up the side of a wicker basket filled with dirty clothes and hopped onto a smooth glossy surface. ‘I wonder what this is for?’ he said, looking down into a large tub.
The door behind him opened and, caught off guard, Raymond felt himself slip sliding down a slope. It felt like fun, except for one thing: he was deep inside a huge cavern and he could not possibly climb out. The white walls rose on all sides like a glacier.

‘Bastian, please go and use the bathroom,’ called a mummy’s voice, ‘and don’t forget to wash your hands!’

A boy with hazel eyes peered over the edge of the bath. He saw Raymond but did not utter a single sound. Raymond waited. The boy reached down, pushed a small metal plug into a hole and turned on a silver tap. A huge jet of hot water spurted out and before he knew it, Raymond was wading up to his knees. This isn’t funny, he thought. He hoped the boy would rescue him but instead he turned on his heels and left the room.  The water was getting deeper and deeper and Raymond started to struggle.

‘Help, somebody!’ he squeaked. ‘Please!’ His little feet were paddling frantically and his mouth was full of suds.

He hated getting his fur wet, but that was not the worst thing.

'Help!' he spluttered. ‘I can’t swim…’