I hope he takes care of her as I have done
My pain no one understands
And I am going to miss her
In oh so many ways
Please raise your glasses to the bride
My beautiful sunflower!
We love her fiance (although I’m not sure about the animal print babygro he wore on his stag this weekend) and so does she, but do we really have to let her go without a struggle? We will all dress up, that’s if I can walk in the shoes I bought online, and smile for the cameras and dance till dawn but what we’re really doing is giving her away! Just like that! In one short ceremony, she will become someone else’s responsibility, for life! I’m not sure that I can bear it. I gathered all the photos of her together before the hen do and I cried for the years that have gone and can never be recovered. She is my precious girl and now she’s getting married. She can’t wait; I can.
Once it’s over the whole shebang begins again for another wedding next June. This time we’re giving our daughter away to a foreigner – a South African, no less. His mother came to stay this week to meet her future daughter-in-law and check out our mad family. She is lovely and we had a good time together but she and I both acknowledged that in the future one of is going to be apart from our children and grandchildren. We actually smiled and pretended that that’s ok too. What’s wrong with us?
I love Stanley Kunitz’s poem The Layers where he asks,
How shall the heart be reconciled to its feast of losses?
He hears a voice which instructs him to live in the layers, not the litter. The only way forward is to step over the debris of the past, embrace the changes and welcome the new people, married, in-laws and as yet unborn and allow them to enrich who I am so that I can become who they need for the future. I don’t have to pretend it’s all easy but I can choose to say bring on the bells and babies and whatever adventures lie ahead.
with my will intact to go,
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me…
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.